NEWS FLASH--Reports of invaders are flooding the airways! The Zukes are taking control of even the most mild-mannered citizens, influencing them to make desperate choices and causing them to do unthinkable things even to unsuspecting family and neighbors. Take precautions now: Be extremely cautious when opening mailboxes. Make certain you keep your cars locked and windows rolled up. The notorious green aliens are known to be so bold as to come right to your doorstep. Make certain that if you do fall prey to the Zukes, you dispose of them properly so they don't return next year. Whatever you do, do not throw them into your back lot and hope you are rid of them. If you do, they will return with a vengeance next year! Some things you can do if all else fails: If you have a matched pair, you could hollow them out and make shoes out of them. You could hollow out one large one and make a canoe, or lash several together to build a raft. Children have been known to carve them into works of art and enter them in the county fair. You could use them as a baseball bat or another type of sporting equipment. Whatever you do, try to catch them before they explode into giants. If you can get them while they are less than one foot long and have a diameter of two inches or less, you can avoid becoming one of their latest victims!
Despite all precautions, the insidious invaders have struck again!
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